The harsh reality is, not everybody will truly get it.


‘Oh yeah, oh yeah I get it, it must be so hard for you, well yeah, I understand, I’ll help you as much as I can’. All is good, all is well, flowers are being thrown in the air, rejoice, sing Hosanna to the king of kings and that.


You get through a rough patch. You’re okay for a while. 2 months later it happens again – ‘Erm, I thought you got over this? Again? Really? Come on just be happy I don’t get it’.


Frustration and boredom ensues. You then become a victim of your own mind, your own worst enemy and not only are you dragging yourself in to an abyss of misery, but also important people around you. Family members, partners, friends, teachers, work mates; and it’s not a single fault in any of these people that they do not understand. How can someone else understand why you feel a certain way, when you don’t understand yourself? As soon as you begin to explain, you feel an idiot, mainly to yourself. As soon as you start explaining that you have no problems, things are going well, but feel as though you have the problem of 7 people, that don’t exist… then in all honesty, you do feel a bit of a dick, even when you really shouldn’t.  You can have everything you’ve ever wanted and feel a massive weight of shit on your shoulders.


2017 saw a general improvement in attitudes towards mental health but by and large the notion of depression, is closely followed by the notion of weakness in the eyes of many. Can’t beat 26 big Brexit Dads, (wherever mine is anyways) telling you to man up and get on with it. Personally, I don’t blame these people, within reason. It’s natural for people to criticise what they do not understand, which is why I person believe the responsibility lies in the way that the government utilises the education system.


Primary and secondary schools should make mental health compulsory to the main syllabus at all levels. Obviously, it should be made age appropriate, gradually building a thorough understanding by the time you leave secondary school. No one day dickhead workshops once a year that don’t even scratch the surface.  This may be different for others, and would I’d love to hear of it happening but I didn’t hear the phrase ‘mental health’ until I did my A levels. I was a psychology student. I was alright learning how to find the square root of the fucking alphabet but wasn’t taught that one day I might have to deal with a problem that’s going to make me not want to leave the house.


In school you’re almost told it’s wrong to be introvert. It’s almost too sensible for the government to recognise that maybe people would be a lot more willing to talk if everyone knew the consequences and treatments of all mental illnesses. Maybe, people wouldn’t stay awake at night because of an ongoing fight in their head, Maybe people would be more willing to speak because you can perhaps starts expecting people to understand more. Maybe parents themselves, loved ones, and friends learn how to handle you, and sufficient support networks are set up as quickly as possible before things get out of hand. Maybe, but what do I know. Apart from the fact that I’ve never had to identify how a plant shags since I’ve left school, but ive constantly have to manage my mental health to make sure tomorrow is better than today. We’ve been failed as a generation. Teach us, you cunts.


The harsh reality is, not everybody will truly get it.


But there are some people who will. If you ARE going through a hard time, and you DO have someone who understands them, then I hope they stay with you forever. These are the most important people that you’ll ever meet. Personal experience has lead me to believe that doctors don’t always know best. It’s like they’re playing a game of roulette on their computer that runs on windows 2 powered by them riding a bike.


‘What’s that mate, you’ve put a quid on 15? Congrats, your winnings today is 50mg of sertraline, just what the doctor ordered! *winks at camera*


Sertraline, mirtazapine… Ive had all the ‘ines’. Get me a fucking aubergine and be done away with all that. If it worked for you then thank goodness but from personal experience each dosage has come with a different kind of kind side effect. Whether it be migraines constantly, or a lack of sleep, or too much sleep, a vicious circle was created that magnifies any problem I’ve had. Cheers Doctor Smith, not only am in at the lowest point of my life, but now I’m a fat cunt. Just kidding, I was always a fat cunt but you get the idea. What I’m trying to say is, just because someone you know is on medication, don’t assume that they’re going to be okay. Continue to give them help. Emotional support and a showing of understanding can go a lot further than a random drug the doctor hopes will work.



As with all things though, there are things you can do potentially put yourself in a better situation. I’m by no means claiming to be the messiah of depression or mental health. I think setting yourself goals, with incentives, is incredibly important. Although this can be said about life in general, but the feeling of completing a goal symbolises progression, and in your own mind, you’ll be showing you’re on the front foot and in control. So many times, I’ve stayed awake all night because of the thoughts inside my head, but still thinking, ‘No worries I’ll smash it tomorrow’ and then just not been able to get out of bed. Go at your own pace. It can be one small step at a time but each step is a massive accomplishment, and can at least contribute some positivity. Especially if the goal is in something that you’re passionate about, or want a career in. Smash it. Furthermore, I’m no sports science expert like my good friends, but exercise and dieting definitely makes me feel in a better frame of mind. What’s that Lew? Had a bad day? Down and give me 20. Boom. But in all seriousness, this does help, I find particularly with running out doors. Nature is cool, reports have shown that being around it does actually help. Eh, maybe those plant shagging lessons wasn’t too bad after all. But these are things that definitely help me.


Everyone will have their own methods, but I think one thing that everyone should do is talk more. Nearly every person I’ve been close to has been pushed away because I’ve been within myself and dishonest, and afterwards I think, ‘why?’. And I couldn’t tell you. If you try and explain things, as best as you can then you should really try and hammer out the best solution going forward before it’s too late. If they don’t understand, you have to try and make them understand as best as possible. Tell someone, apart from the voice in your head. Talking helps. Sometimes when the words come out, it’s almost as if you’re not speaking to someone else, but yourself. Then you understand. They understand. So many time’s you can feel on your own, but I never was. People may not understand all the time, but any support helps, especially those cloest to you. The hardest thing is when everyone things you’re a positive outgoing guy, so you can’t be sad, and no one ever makes sure.


If you know someone is struggling, then go a bit further than asking if theyre okay. Show a genuine interest, go around to their house, arrange something and you could make a big difference.


Talk as much as possible


I hope none of you are concerned about me reading this you big idiots, I’m in a good place and have the right things to help me cope. I’ve had a shit year, I’ve lost a lot, but there’s definitely a difference between depression and going through a hard time. It’s almost deemed cool to have depression these days, good job you can’t see it or people would Instagram it. But don’t be afraid to speak to someone, you can really help. The more people that speak the better, we’re all proper fucking weird anyways.


I doubt anyone has made it this far, but if so, have a pleasant evening!

There was no real reason for this, or have any point, but needed to get some things of my chest.


Over and out











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